Sunday, May 19, 2013

Ummm

I was in the Navy, and got some leave so I went back home for a week. I spent a day out with a girl I knew in high school (she was a freshman when I was a senior). I had been known in high school for my perverse humor, and she had decided to try to make me blush on a number of occasions (she never succeeded...in fact I've managed to get her to go "Don't close my eyes, don't close my eyes, don't close my eyes, AAAAAAH!" from a phone conversation on one of those occasions). So we're driving around town and she decides to say "I just wanna f%*&. Thinking she was trying to make me blush again (since she showed little interest in me), I work my magic in countering with making her blush instead and respond with "My hotel is back that way" while pointing behind us. She turned the car around and headed for the hotel. I figured why not, hadn't gotten any in a few months. We get back to my room, I've got her shirt off and am working on her bra when my phone goes off. I have it on silent, but she feels the vibration through my pants pocket on her leg. I pull the offending phone out and see that it's my brother calling me. First thought that went through my mind is that my brother never calls me unless it's an emergency. I contemplate for a moment as to whether I should ignore the call and get back to what I was doing or answer the call. Stupid me, I answered the phone. "D#&k, what do you want!? (slight pause) Hi, Krys. (his wife) (another pause) Ok, you were dialing for him. Put him on. (quick pause) D$@k, what do you want?" His response? He just wanted to say hi. I ask him what the hell, and somehow he knew from that what was going on because he asked if he caught me mid-thrust. "Couple more minutes, you would have!" (click) She was laughing her ass off

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