Sunday, June 30, 2013

we all like to make bubbles

so me and this guy i met on holiday met up as my parents became good friends with his parents.
anyway at his house his dad was working and his mum and my mum had gone out in the car somewhere shopping so we were sat on his xbox. things started to get heated up and i ended up giving him a blowjob then he ended up poking me and kissing. then we moved on to sex, he put a condom on and we began to have sex. after he had climaxed we layed there kissing and then he went to the bathroom to remove the condom. he wrapped it in toilet paper and put it to the bottom of the bin.
Later that night in his hot tub we had the jets on and the bubbles and he began poking me and i gave him a hand job very slyly! his mum got out and went to get in the shower as her programes were startin and we stayed in, his dad brought us drinks out and then left. i straddled him and took my bikini bottoms off and he got it out of his shorts and we began to have sex again. the shed doors were shut and the only thing lighting the room were fairy lights and the music were playing. we were going pretty hard and obviously noises were being made. we didnt hear his dad come out of the house at all and he had the remote to the ipod docking station and all of a sudden the door opened and he paused the music!! i was moaning as was the guy and then we both splashed away from eachother and turned around to see his dad stood there looking rather shocked but he shuffled quitley saying turn that rubbiah down will you in a joking way. having to walk through his house in my bikini to get to the bathroom infront of his parents has to be the most embarrasing thing ive ever done especially after his dad told his mum 'we were making bubbles in the hot tub'. although we are now together and his dad always knocks when we are in the hot tub and we have the music on low!!!

Ew, just ew.

I have this friend who has been hell bent on me taking his v's since i first met him. We ended up going out to a club together and i tried to hook him up with someone, anyone as he is gross and i was definitely not going there. I found this fat chick at the bar who was throwing herself on any guy who walked past so i introduced them. Luckily both of them were drunk enough to see past each others flaws. I was convinced that i would get a night of peaceful sleep only to be rudely awaken several times in the night to the woman screaming random shit like "yes bite me there" "lick it already" and screaming out her badly sung version of "beat it" by michael jackson. Including her favourite line "just eat it". when morning finally came i was again awaken by screaming but from my friend as he woke to an empty swag. There was evidently no trace left from his hook up apart from blood stained sheets, blood smears all over himself (including face) and a rather confronting used tampon right on his pillow. I was pretty damn proud of myself.

What an anti climax...!!!

So back in the days of high school I was experiencing my first sexual encounters with my girlfriend at the time, and as we were both completely inexperienced, we had some troubles in the beginning. In the early weeks of our relationship I coax her into trying to give me a blowjob. She was hesitant at first, but she liked me so much she decided to give it a try. Looking back I can see why she was hesitant, she had no idea what the fuck to do.
The night before it was just like Christmas, and I was anxious to receive my gift. I think we can all remember the sheer excitement the first time a girl went down on you. Imagine how much I have built up this moment in my head in the t minus hours till launch. I imagined I would transcend time and space, find enlightenment, and become immortal, all in one orgasm.
My girl comes over and I am downright giddy. We sneak off to my room to do some kinoodling while my family is upstairs. We kiss and cuddle, but we all know what we were there for. After what seems like an eternity the moment comes. She slowly moves down my body and at this point I'm at about 110% hardness.
She unzips my pants... I almost come.
Out pops my member in all of its glory, she's taken aback as it's her first time seeing one.
She takes a deep breath and puts it in her mouth...
I can safely say this was the happiest moment in my life so far. Absolute bliss as I await the pornstar blowjob I have envisioned in my head. I can't contain my excitement as I wait for whats to come. This moment seems to last forever...
..'Wait what?' my mind snaps out of the bliss, 'why is this taking so long to start?"

I look down.

She's staring back up to me cock in mouth, motionless. She just has it in her mouth doing nothing. She looks left and right as if she is waiting for the bus.
In a complete state of denial I lock eyes with her. I give her the raised eyebrow nod indicating, 'You are cleared to start.' but she responds with a look of confusion.
Waves of emotion hit me. 'She doesn't know what she's doing!', and I immediately panic. What do I do? Grab her head and move it up and down? Hump her face? Obviously my adolescent mind chooses to do nothing. We lock eyes for what seems to be about 5 minutes. Me just staring at her in disbelief as she looks back, cock still in mouth, wondering what the hell is going on.
Eventually she takes it out, and whimpers, "Is... it good?", again I panic. What the hell do I say to her? It was great? Do I draw a diagram? Do I show her the terabytes of porn on my computer?
"Well... you're supposed to..." RING RING

'Oh yeah I'll come right home mom."

She has to leave. ..

I nearly cried

Well that child's going to need counselling of some sort in the future

Well the other day i go round 2 the ex's house for a bit of fun. Every man has his needs! So i get there and up stairs i go where shes sat waiting in her matching leopard print underwear. Well it aint on her long n im goin at that pussy licking her out finger blastin at the same time and shes fuckin howling the place down. Well im just about 2 stop n start fuckin her wen she lets this massive fart out. All of a sudden i feel sumthn hit me on the chin? Im thinking what the fucks this. Next thing her oldest boy (13)walks through 2 c what all the screaming was all about.were 2 caught up in the moment 2 hear him coming. he turns the light on and looks at me face deep in his mothers clung with what had hit me on the chin drippin was only a wet shitty fart. Fare 2 say me n her wont be talkin face 2 face again. Embarrassed wasn't the word!!

knock before you enter, rule number 1 for any parent

I was with my girlfriend for 4years (now an ex) and we were 17/18yrs old. We were fooling around on my bed kissing and toy fighting when it led into having sex. We were going at it like mad and I had her bent over. Going for gold she was moaning and saying mu name louder and louder. All this going on I completely forgot my mother was in the house as I was caught in the moment and didnt care about anything else. Anyway, she had climaxed and I was just about to finish off going harder when my bedroom door suddenly opened. My mother had walked in with a pink wooden chair and in complete shock she didnt walk back out... no, she started a convo! Asking me to paint it blue! When I tried to tell her to get the hell out the feeling of me being inside my ex (who at this point had her head under the pillow in shock) I climaxed and came whilst talking to my mum... I let out a little moan and felt disgusting after. She soon left as I think she caught on what just happened.

I didnt leave my room for a few days and I now have a lock fitted on my room door

Anyone want to buy a pizza

Please keep anonymous!! This was a few weeks back but me and my boyfriend were relaxing in my flat, first time we had been alone for a while, we ordered a takeaway to eat while we watched our film and the. Things turned a bit frisky, our hands were all over each other and the. I decided to give him head... I was going at it for quite a while and he was LOVING it, after about 30 minuets he came and it practically choked me! (I prefer a heads up when it's going to happen) bam! All over my face! Literally just then a knock at the door! I cleaned my face best I could before answering the door, our pizza had arrived so I paid the delivery boy who before leaving informed me there was something in my hair... Lets put it this way, I didn't do a good job of cleaning and in never ordering pizza from there again!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Upset Stomach

I spent the Friday night with my boyfriend, where we had anal sex and he came inside my ass. So, the next night we started with foreplay. Now, I don't know how many of you can relate but when someone blows a load into your ass, it upsets your stomach for some reason. Mine had been upset all day. My boyfriend went down on me, obviously I got excited and it made it just a little harder to try not to shit myself. I started breathing through my teeth, my boyfriend thought it was because I enjoyed what he was doing (which I did) and he went harder, faster! But I was a little distracted by the gigantic shit I had. He was in the moment so I didn't want to stop him. He continued the sensation and it got harder and harder for me to control myself. My stomach was cramping like crazy. I started making dinosaur noises and I nearly started crying. He peeked up from between my legs, I could feel by the way his tongue slowed down that he was so fucking confused. He looked terrified. I couldn't hold it anymore! After I climaxed, he looked up at me and said "wow! That was intense!" I quickly moved out under him, kicking him in the face in the process. And I ran for the toilet. I bearly made it. I started giggling like a fool on the toilet as I thought about what he would have done if I had to shit while I climaxed.

Possibly the worst way to make a mum like you

I was having sex with my girlfriend at the time and i was getting pretty close to cumming. (we had to be quiet as the parents were in the next room) and as i came the mother walked in, causing me to roll off my girlfriend and ejaculate mid air right infront of the mother.
The door had to stay open after that day.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Why wont she go away

So one night me and my boyfriend are just driving through the city and all of the sudden I get horny out of no where. (Which is usually not me lol) so he's driving and I start unbuckling his pants. I give him a blow job, and he's all for it of course cuz I never do that! So he keeps driving and eventually he says "we needa stop somewhere." So we automatically think of the park two streets away from us. We go there, too much light. (My bf had no tinted windows at the time) so we drive around, finally find a dark spot and I continue to give him a blow job. All of the sidden I hear him saying "babe..." in a voice that made me thing omg.. what happened. While we're in the car and he's laid back and I'm clearly sucking his penis, THE WHOLE TIME, this woman who was walking her dog was just standing there on the sidewalk starring at us. I'm so embarrassed all i do is stop, but leave my head where it is, not moving and my boyfriend is covering his face wantinf to laugh. I keep asking him while my mouth is still on it "is she still there? Is she still there?" And she is -.- now idk what this lady's problem was but I'd say I had my head still there in embarrassment for about a good 5 -10 min before she walked away with her dog. Till this day, me and my boyfriend still laugh about it.

Damn that was loud

Ok so i had just turned 17 and had a fuck buddy already and it seemed like every night we met up to have sex.there was nothing this guy couldn't get me to do.soo one night he says lets go to my friends house and hang out a lil bit..well we were bored there and his friends were playing dominoes and he takes me into the bathroom and starts fucking me doggystyle really hard and fast and I'm like whoaa hold on I'm bout to fall starts pounding really hard then all of a sudden he gets out real quick and grabs my belly like a big bear hug and the biggest loudest pussy fart...ohh my fucking gosh...everyone heard it and i was embarassed couldn't believe he did that and i made him take me home and never spoke to him again..although he still tries to msg me on Facebook..ugh

Ohh..i didnt notice you there..

My boyfriend and I can't keep our hands off of eachother! Sunday night we went to the drive-in movies. We decided it would be cool to dress in 50's style clothes. I wore a cute little 50's style dress. My boyfriend came over to my house to pick me up, But it was still a bit early to go. So we ended up making out a bit, which always gets me super wet. We were getting ready to leave and my panties were soaked, so my boyfriend told me to take them off and just not wear any. We arrive to the drive-in and put the front seats back so we're lying down. Then my boyfriend decides to start rubbing my pussy, I start getting really into it and I turn his head to look at me. Mean while a parking attendant was approaching his car with a flash light, neither of us noTiced, until he tapped on the window. MortifIed we stopped and the paRking attendant merely wanted to tell my boyfriend to turn his head lights off... but long story short I flashed a parking attendant my pussy.

Thanks DAD

Back in high school I dated this girl for about a year, every once in a while I would sneak out of the house and go get her from her house and bring her back to mine. We never got caught until one fateful evening. She was usually pretty loud so I would cover her mouth with my hand to help muffle the noise. We were doing our thing and I hear a knock at the door, and I hear my fathers voice "Patrick, come out here I need to talk to you.". Needless to say we were caught, but my girlfriend decided to hide in the closet anyways. So I walk out of my room after putting some clothes on and I casually ask my dad, "So what's up?". My dad was on the computer looking at Bows for hunting and asked me what kind of Bow I wanted to get. Looking at him as if he was nuts I told him which bow I would like. He stood up and started walking back to his room, He then turned around and said loud enough so my girlfriend could hear, "Oh yeah, and take that slut of a girlfriend you have home too". I took her home and she broke up with me when we got to her house. Thanks dad.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


I use to sneak in my gf house all the time during my senior yr of high school and stay the night. One day i stayed over her house on a Thursday and the following day was a holiday so there wasnt school. We were both naked and sleeping in her bed when we heard knocking on her door. I couldnt go out the window bc her room was on the second floor. The knocking continued and we heard her father yelling at her to open the door and get up for school bc she was going to be late (he did not know it was a holiday there for no school) so she gelled back and said there was no school. He finally opened the door and at that time i had my boxers on and he saw me putting on my pants. He said what the hell are you doing in my house and i replied i was studying and fell asleep. He went to grab his baseball bat and i freaked out bc i had no time to run down stairs and out the house b4 he would get to me so we. Both ran to the bathroom and she turned on the shower and locked the door. Her dad came back and yelled to open the bathroom door. She said she was showering and he said no your not your hiding him. I hid under the sink. I was cramed in there. She opened the door and i could hear him yelling and looking for me. Then he thought i ran out the house so he left the house to look for me outside. While he was outside i got out the bathroom and ran outside and took off for my car. He saw me and took off running after me so i did not have time to unlock my car and start it so i took off running from him. He did not catch me but i had a friend go get my car after that lol.

Too young!!

When it was my sophomore year of high-school I had my first ever with my then boyfriend! We dated about 8 months. In that 8 months, on new years Eve I was allowed to stay the night with him. We were both so excited because he just got back from a vacation. It was after midnight and we decided to lay in his room and watch a movie. He figured his mom and dad would be upstairs sleeping and wouldn't be coming back down. So, We started doing some foreplay with the light on and it was fun!! We decided to do 69. I was on top of him and next thing I knew, his mother walked in on me, dick in mouth. I looked up, eyes wide open, dropped his dick and fell back onto the bed and covered myself while she was yelling lol! She ran upstairs telling his dad and he laughed about it. I was told I couldn't sleep in his room with him that night and after that, we ended up having sex again lol. I wasn't aloud in the house after that and I had to tell my parents too or his dad was going to haha I still crack up thinking about it to this day!!

Go upstairs guy!!

Please keep anonymous so there I was having the last party I could I few days before I left for basic me and my girlfriend were playing beer pong and I was whispering in her ear how bad I wanted to fuck but everyone was still there and we could just disappear so I convinced her we could go in the bathroom and have a quicky until later that night well I got her bent over going at it and then we hear bang bang bang on the door we ignore it at first but then it happens about three more times and we hear come on I gotta piss so she is laughing her ass off saying go upstairs and the guy says I thought it was oh wait are you two in there having sex and she starts laughing her ass off and says ill have to wait so we go walking out of the bathroom and everyone is standing there clapping and was like I wonder where you two took off to

Dont talk the talk, if you cant walk the waLK

I met this girl on facebook and we clicked. She was from my city, so we switched numbers and became text buddies. we would text all night long. Eventually we started sexting. We would role play, and express our desires to fuck each other. 

During these sexts and role plays- I presented myself as an aggressive lover. that turned her so on because she loved rough sex. After few weeks of constant sexting and role-playing- finally she texted me her address and asked me to come over. Her family was out that day- so I went over to her place. 

Then came the moment of truth- we were in her living room awkwardly smiling at each other. After awhile- I mastered the courage to kiss her. She kissed me back. and we went at. We took our clothes off while making out and touching each other. Then she got on her knees meaning to give me a head. She took my penis in her hand and gave it few strokes- before she could take it in her mouth I ejaculated in her face. It was so embarrassing. she didn't expect it at all. she was under the impression that we were just getting started. fuck!! I wanted to die right there, or just magically disappear into thin air.