Sunday, June 30, 2013

Ew, just ew.

I have this friend who has been hell bent on me taking his v's since i first met him. We ended up going out to a club together and i tried to hook him up with someone, anyone as he is gross and i was definitely not going there. I found this fat chick at the bar who was throwing herself on any guy who walked past so i introduced them. Luckily both of them were drunk enough to see past each others flaws. I was convinced that i would get a night of peaceful sleep only to be rudely awaken several times in the night to the woman screaming random shit like "yes bite me there" "lick it already" and screaming out her badly sung version of "beat it" by michael jackson. Including her favourite line "just eat it". when morning finally came i was again awaken by screaming but from my friend as he woke to an empty swag. There was evidently no trace left from his hook up apart from blood stained sheets, blood smears all over himself (including face) and a rather confronting used tampon right on his pillow. I was pretty damn proud of myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment